People have always asked me how I do it , with the "it" being how I manage three little boys at one time by myself day in and day out. I usually have the same answer - you just do. People adapt, some better than others, but people adapt to their circumstances. You do what you have to do, and you go on. And, like anything, some days are going to be better than others.
I will never tell you it's easy. It's not. But you figure out a routine, and you get through it. And you always know, that sooner or later, things are going to change. The boys will get bigger, their activities and schedules will change. You keep reminding yourself that they are only little once, and you do the best you can to take care of them, to make sure all their needs and most of their wants are taken care of, and to enjoy the early years as much as you can.
In the last three years, since I left my job to stay at home with newborn twins and a 14-month old, I've adapted a lot. First, it was living through the haze of feeding and changing two demanding newborns while not completely ignoring my toddler (and the first six months, they really are a blur, even now). Then it was getting brave enough to take all three of them out of the house, by myself. A couple of strollers later, that's actually not too much of a problem for the basics like the grocery shopping or running errands. Here lately, it's been about finding ways to get us out of the house more often or to keep us engaged with something other than the television, which is on more than I would like.
There was also the new schedule that came with in-home therapy when we decided the little guys needed more than what we could do for them at home. And then there was Connor's preschool (for three hours) two days each week. Now we've added preschool for the little guys, which is three hours every day of the week.
As I said, lots of adapting. But you do. You figure out what works and what doesn't, and then you go on. It's not always easy and it's not always pretty, but you do it. And in the end, it generally works out just fine.
Right now, things are working out better than just fine. The little guys are adjusting to their new school and routine as well as could be expected. We couldn't be more excited about the opportunities they now have, and we feel extremely lucky to have them in two very wonderful classrooms with teachers who show so much care and concern already. And Connor still loves his school and his teachers and his friends, and we're glad to have him in a program that is so well thought of in the community. The boys are getting great experiences and chances to learn, and they're getting to be around other people, one of the hardest things for me to do at home or even when we venture out. That whole three kids, three different directions thing is kind of restrictive of what we can do at this age.
But with our new schedule, Mommy can start to regain a little bit of her sanity now, too. It's been three years since I had any amount of time that was my own during the day. There were nap times, of course, but those are long since gone (more than a year ago) and they rarely overlapped. Now, two days every week, I have one hour that is completely mine, when preschool overlaps and all of the boys are happily and safely in other environments.
Of course, so far, I have used all that glorious time to do things like run errands, go to the grocery or the bank, and routine things like that. But I have done so in complete and total peace. And I have done so without asking someone to watch my kids so I could leave the house. That's huge. There are lots of people who are always willing to help out with things like that (who both love to see the boys and to help us out), but independent soul that I am, I like that I can do it on my own these days without having to ask for help.
And today, I actually stopped in at the library again (it's been several months, unfortunately) and picked up some books (some for me, some for Connor). Something more fun to occupy that hour. I also picked up a new day bag, that will hold the contents of my old purse as well as my new camera. Perhaps reading and taking pictures at the park will be my new diversion when the weather breaks (or even before). Just something to get me out of the house for a little while, where I would inevitably find things to do, like dishes, or laundry (assuming we can find a belt to fix the washing machine, which we haven't yet), or any of the other random things that always need to be done at our house.
And on the other days, when the little guys are in school and I just have Connor, the world is still much bigger than it was. Taking one child (and one who is well-behaved for the most part, who understands things like "danger" and who is potty trained), that's huge. I haven't done that since he was a baby, more than four years ago. So we've been running errands and trying to do some fun stuff too, like lunch out (albeit fast food, for the most part, since that's all he likes), trips to the park, and we're even looking forward to rediscovering the "boat school" downtown (actually the children's museum) and maybe taking in a children's play (the one that he was supposed to see on a class field trip, but that was cancelled in the ice storm).
Thinking about and waiting for the transition was hard, but the actual transition has been relatively painless. The kids are adjusting. They're getting exposure I couldn't give them at home. I'm getting down time from all of the kids at times and from the very demanding little guys on a daily basis (all while they're getting the therapy and extra help they need). I'm getting to spend some quality one-on-one time with my oldest, who will be in kindergarten before I know it.
Change, it isn't always easy, but sometimes it's for the best. And right now, we're finding our way and enjoying as much of it as we can.