It does not seem possible. Sawyer and Xander turn five today. Where does the time go? Not only are the boys now five years old, but it has been that long since I worked a full-time job (well, one that you get paid for)! It does not seem that long ago.
I don’t remember much at all from those early months. It’s a very hazy blur of feeding babies, changing babies, attempting to sleep, attempting to eat, and attempting to shower. There also was a lot of television. The Incredibles, one of our few Pixar movies at the time, was Connor’s companion those first few months. He was also fond of climbing in the toy box playing with his toys, while brothers took their turns sleeping in pack-in-plays or on the couch, eating, and being changed.
There were stroller rides – three boys squeezed into a double stroller at first. Connor up front, the twins in the back seat (the one that would lay all the way down). That didn’t last long, as both twins were full-term weights even arriving early. Eventually, the very expensive triple stroller arrived, and freedom came with it. We took long stroller walks in the neighborhood, ventured out to grocery stores and running errands, finding our new normal.
At some point, though I don’t remember when, colic came to visit. It took a while to figure it out, because we got lucky with Connor. We eventually realized that if you put the twins in their swings, in the empty living room on the first floor of our then-house, they would be content. For hours. Completely wide awake. Happy, just swinging in a big, empty, quiet room.
Crawling, walking, babbling. All of it followed the normal pattern. Xander was mobile first. Sawyer had a cute little army crawl that he used until one day he just decided to pull up and take steps. The gated house emerged. There were locks and gates on anything and everything.
Picky, picky eaters. We probably didn’t help by letting them push vegetables away and letting them just eat the fruits. They would condescend to eat sweet potatoes and corn, of all things. But nothing else that wasn’t sweet. At the time, it seemed more important that they eat something, anything, rather than push it all away.
Language was slow, but we weren’t alarmed. Connor was a late talker, too. Boys are late, twins are late, or so we were told. Mama. Dada. Ball. Hi. Bye. Simple words and interactions were there.
Until they weren’t.
And other signs started to fall into place.
That’s when life changed course.
Evaluations. Therapy. Diagnoses. Preschool.
And now here we are.
Five years later. The boys are finishing their third year of Early Start. They will move on to kindergarten next year. I’m still not thinking about that, not yet.
Xander has found his words, though they may not be typical. They are rigid, often scripted from favorite shows or movies. But they are still there, and they are functional. He is actually quite chatty these days. Sometimes the context is off, or the transition is abrupt, to say the least. It’s actually funny, how much more like his older brother he seems than his identical twin. But so it is. Chatty. Dramatic. Feisty.
Sawyer is his opposite. When it comes to language, he only uses one word consistently – “Bye!” It is his universal way to say “All Done!” with whatever he doesn’t want to do anymore. Other words are sneaking in there, but they are not consistent just yet. And Sawyer knows basic signs - both boys do - but he is stubborn and does not use them often. He has to want something very badly, and then you might see a sign for “more” or “please” out of him. He also does the sign for “all done,” though it is usually a very agitated one. He is much more laid-back than either of his brothers. He can take or leave most things. But when he really wants something, watch out. He is persistent. He will stalk you (or the pantry) until he gets what he wants.
The twins are not typical five-year olds. They do not know their birthday is today. They do not care if they have a cake or presents, though they will certainly eat their cake and may – if the notion strikes them – help open presents. They might even play with some of their new presents. But they might also just play with the ribbons and boxes. And if there happen to be ballons (which I'm pretty sure there will), those will trump everything else. Especially for Xander.
Today is not important to them. Not the way a birthday would be to Connor, or to most other kids. It is just another day.
We will take them out to eat with close family. Still picky eaters, there will be no fancy restaurants for them. We will go to one of their fast food favorites where they will mostly eat French fries and drink soda. Sawyer will also eat as much chicken as he can get his hands on (he will absolutely reach over to your plate and steal it, so consider yourself warned should you sit next to him).
Next we will take them to Monkey Joe’s – a place filled with inflatable bounce houses and slides. They will spend hours in sensory heaven.
And then we will make our way home for the ice cream cake and presents.
They will enjoy their day.
French fries are always good. Mountain Dew, for Sawyer, even better.
Both boys will love bouncing at Monkey Joe’s, though they will not particularly like the crowd or the noise. But they have come a long way, and things that once would have caused a major meltdown – like other people and loud noises – are now only mildly irritating. They will still bounce and play. They will, in fact, probably be upset to leave. Because they will not understand we are going home to cake and presents. And, truth be told, even if they did understand, they would likely still be upset. Bouncing would trump just about anything for them.
But once they are home and the cake is presented, they will be fine again. They will eat – maybe not all of the cake - but at least the parts of it that they do like. There will be presents, which they may or may not be interested in. There will be balloons, which they will carry around with them the rest of the night. Xander will collect any strays he can find and add them to "HIS" collection.
And there will be family, which will signal that today is a little different, but will not affect them. They will still do the things they normally do, almost as if no one else were around.
Unless they want something. Other people are often more obliging than Mommy and Daddy. They will take their hands, lead them places, make their cute little verbal and non-verbal requests.
And they will mostly be successful.
After all, it is their big day.
Today we will celebrate them and how far they’ve come. Five years. Their journey is not the typical one, to be sure. But their progress is so much more amazing for all the effort they have to put into it. Every single minute, of every single day.
At five, they've come a long, long way.
