School Days

Scenes from an afternoon on the preschool playground ...



The twins ignoring each other at school. Xander is about to go down the slide, with his good buddy J sitting behind him (in the hat), and Sawyer is getting in a little sensory action in the front.



Sawyer with chalk in his favorite corner (near the mechanical room, where the temperatures and the vibrations make him very happy).



Sawyer on top of the play set.



Sawyer and one of his buddies C hanging out by the front gate. Ready to go, as usual.



Xander, not quite smiling for his buddy Mr. K (and probably wondering how to get that phone away from him, too).

Special thanks to Mr. K who snapped the photos and sent them to me from his iPhone! It's unusual for both boys to be outside together, but both classes happened to be outside at the same time that day.

Changes

There are so many on our horizon right now that I cannot begin to talk about them all. But suffice it to say, change is going to be good in many ways. The only bad part is that they're all happening at one time, and that can simply be exhausting. Posting here may be light or sporadic in the coming weeks (or even months). We'll eventually get settled into our new normal and get back to the regularly scheduled programming, but for now, don't be alarmed if a few days (or even weeks) go by without much being said.

Weekend Getaway

The Hotel, originally uploaded by cheryl.

My friend Katy and I had a great weekend away. Mother nature didn't exactly cooperate, but we still got to take in lots of different (mostly indoor) sights, especially the local craftsmen galleries, and we even managed to sneak in a little walking trip across the local college campus after one of the rains. We also had several great meals at local restaurants, including dinner at the famous hotel restaurant. And most important, we got a little time away and a little adult interaction for a change. Good company and good times.

More photos are here.

Sneaking Away

Several months ago the other mothers and I from Connor's Book Club for Boys planned a weekend getaway. A simple overnight stay with no real plans other than time away without kids or families or responsibilities.

We debated several locations within short driving distance and finally settled on a historic hotel within easy driving distance. It's in a quiet little college town also known for its large collection of craftsmen and galleries. There's no shortage of sights to see, if we're feeling adventurous.

We still have no real plans, other than a few specific places we'd like to eat (that's the most important thing, after all). The weather may curtail some of the exploring we had considered, but I'm certain we can find ways to entertain ourselves and just decompress.

The only disappointing part of the trip is that the founding member of the club had an unexpected life change. A new job opportunity sent them across the country just a few short weeks ago, and she's not able to come. We'll have to take her with us in spirit.

So it's going to be a boys weekend at our house. Hopefully they can stay out of trouble for 36 hours or so!

Quoted & Noted

One of the things that came out of Xander's evaluation meeting last week was actually kind of humerous. It was a little verbal sparring he does with some of the teachers and staff at school, and one that he doesn't ever try with us at home!

The teachers tell us that there are times when he doesn't want to be touched or bothered. Typically, he's laying on the ground and resisting any attempt to be either verbally or physically assisted to the correct location (either inside the classroom, or often when it's time to go into school from either car line or recess).

He lays there and tells them "Ouch!" over and over again, saying it louder every time their hands get closer to him. Little sneak.

We definitely hear the "Ouchie!" followed promptly by "Okay?" from him at home. Both twins have a high pain tolerance, but he likes to acknowledge every bump or scrape with this little script. He's heard me say it often when he does something that should hurt. So he's taken to saying it every single time he remotely bumps into anything, even if it probably didn't hurt. It's just one of his little scripts.

But he never says just "Ouch!" and never in the context of leaving him alone. At least not for us. Funny how he adapts, trying out new tricks on each of us!

Photo Flashback

Three Boys (on the then-new play set). (April 21, 2008)

Where We Are

The twins are out of school today and tomorrow so that teachers can do the semi-annual home visits. This time around, Sawyer's teachers - Mrs. R, Ms. J and Mrs. S - came to visit and give us an update on how he's doing in the classroom.

The short answer is he's doing amazing. The progress from last year to this one is tremendous. He's more engaged in the classroom, listening and attending better to vocal prompts and requests, transitioning well and accepting changes much more easily, playing beside (and even sometimes with) other kids in the class, sitting still (at times) during story and circle time, showing emerging functional play instead of simply organizing and lining everything up.

There were so many positives, I can't remember them all. But the big thing is the engagement. He's actually paying attention to the world around him instead of trying to stay in his own safe, small world. He will actually look at you when you talk to him or say his name. He's following classroom rules and activities with less prompting (though still needing some when it's time to stop doing a preferred one). He's just more present.

Some other things of note include the fact that he's actually saying more sounds and even a few words here and there. "Bread" was the big one a few weeks back. Ms. J also gets him to count a little bit with her, saying certain numbers out loud when she's holding him up and letting him free fall back in her arms (a very favorite activity of his). He's often sounding out letters and the sounds that go with them (probably because Xander is obsessed). And he's even beginning to pedal the tricylce at recess (at home he still just "walks" it around), but actually attempting to use the pedals is big!

We still need to keep working with him on certain things. He's still not big on art or drawing, which is important for pre-writing skills. He, of course, prefers to line those types of things up rather than actually use them. He does like the dot paint, but not actually making strokes. So we'll keep trying. We also would like to see a little more sign language from him. He knows the basic ones, he absolutely understands them when the teachers use them, but he isn't particularly willing to use them himself. He still holds his hands out to you, wanting you to make the sign for him. Stubborn!

But all in all, he's doing great at Early Start. We love it. And so do his teachers. They are so encouraging and supportive, and do so much to help him succeed. We could not imagine a better place for him and feel so fortunate that he's going to spend three whole school years in the same place with the same people. And next year he will get even more help, as he is going to participate in the autism grant program as well!

And that's where we are right now, seeing lots of progress and also looking at areas where he still needs some help. Moving forward ...

Connor at School

With private preschool, the semester ends a lot sooner than the local school district. Connor only has about three weeks of school left before summer break, and before his transition to "big boy" school.

The teachers and staff have been working on the end-of-the-year slideshow that plays on the big screen during the last musical concert. Connor's teachers Mrs. J and Mrs. L sent these photos home for us to keep from his year in the orange room.



Four Amigos. This is the little group I hear Connor talk about most - Preston, Bennett and Jack.



Pumpkin Patch Fun. Connor not wanting to look at the camera and Mommy cracking up and his expression.



Play Time. Connor and his friend Jake.



All Dressed Up. Group shot of the class at the Halloween party.



Fire Trucks! The local fire department came to visit and let everyone take a turn sitting in the fire truck and spraying the big water hose. Connor really liked that part.



Craft Time. Connor learning to cut.



Craft & Play Time. My sensory seeking boys would love this. Connor seems to be enjoying himself, too.

Special thanks to Mrs. J and Mrs. L for sharing the photos with us!

An Adventure - Not the Fun Kind

Yesterday was quite an adventure. We had our first (mildly) serious injury with the boys, and it was probably not the one you were expecting. At least it wasn't the one I was expecting. You see, we have long thought it would be Xander - our fearless, feisty, little monkey - who would be in regular need of medical attention. But it wasn't him.

It was Sawyer. The twins were playing in Xander's bedroom upstairs while I was putting some laundry away in the other bedrooms. They typically go in there and read the books from Xander's bookshelf (we had to put Sawyer's in his closet a few months back after his favorite activity became to take every book out and pile them all over the floor, EVERY single morning - so now he just has a small stack of ten or so books by his beanbag to look through). The were in that corner of the room, where the bookshelf, the beanbag and the chest of drawers all sit.

And something happened. I don't know what, because I wasn't in there. I heard a pretty loud thump (someone falling, I assume) and then a loud and serious cry. From my big boy who never, ever cries. Not really, at least not in pain and not with real, streaming tears.

By the time I got to him, he had his own hand over the gash on the back of his head and it was bright red. It wasn't very big, probably no longer than your thumbnail, but it was kind of deep. It was the kind that was going to need stitches. So we got some wet wipes and applied pressure, and we got him calmed down enough to get some shoes on everyone and get into the car. I called Josh, who was going to meet us at the clinic just down the road (it was much closer than either an ER or our own pediatrician's office).

So we were a sight. It was just me, and three boys, going into the local clinic. Sawyer wouldn't let me put him down for anything, though he had stopped crying at this point (and was actually pretty peaceful on the drive to the clinic). Xander screams bloody murder at the first sign of any medical office, whether we're there for him or not. He screamed from the moment we got out of the truck until the moment Josh came into the examination room and took the two well boys out to the waiting area (where the toys were).

It was not a fun adventure, I assure you. Sawyer was not happy to have anyone looking at the gash, much less touching it or heaven forbid washing it. He was screaming and crying, which is not like him. Certainly not with his very high pain tolerance. That's how you know it really hurt.

And as it turns out, this particular clinic only put in stitches, not staples. The doctor who saw us said she didn't think that was a good idea, that she would recommend staples if it were her child, so she called to another clinic across town and got us in over there. It was across town, but it would still be open and she thought it was the best course of treatment.

At this point, I was already late for my part-time job. We arranged for Pappy to come watch the well boys at home, and I took the well boys home to meet him and get ready for work. Josh took Sawyer across town to the other clinic to get the staples. Three in all, on the back corner of his head. Not fun at all.

But within a few hours he was home, content to be watching a movie before bed time and not really seeming to mind. This morning he has been completely fine, too. It's as if it never happened. He's not even running his fingers over the site, which I was worried he might do (foreign objects on his body are not something he tolerates well). He doesn't seem to notice the staples at all.



So, our first serious medical injury. Not at all who or what I was expecting. But he's handling it well, and that's all you can hope for at this point. It also proved several random acts of kindness in the process.

The first was the clinic doctor, who probably (according to rules) should have stitched him up and collected payment. She neither charged us for the observation or the referral, and also called ahead to let someone know we were coming and what we needed.

The other was total stranger who had been passing through the waiting room when I walked in with all three boys. We were quite the sight, I'm sure. She actually walked out to her car and returned with a small toy - some rubberbands in the shape of cars, which is apparently one of the newest things - and she wanted the boys to have to them to play with while they were waiting. So she made the very kind offer, received Connor's quiet and mumbled thanks, and then went back out and on her way.

The last was a co-worker, who stayed late after her all-day shift to cover some of my evening one when I couldn't make it in to work on time. She even offered to work the entire shift if I wasn't up to coming in.

So not a good day all-in-all, but it certainly ended with lots of reminders of how kind other people can be, even to complete strangers just crossing their paths.

The Revolution

The Revolution, originally uploaded by cheryl.

It just took us several years of procrastination, but Josh and I have finally joined the current century. We just reworked our wireless account (actually joined the two, which had been with separate carriers for a while) and upgraded to new phones with data capability. That is to say that we have the ability to text now, but whether we choose to do so or not is a whole other question!

So instead of taking and editing photos today, I've spent the evening on the phone with customer service activating the new mini-computers. It took quite a while, and my phone is still in the process of switching my old number over to the new account (should be operation by tomorrow, if you're wanting to call or text).

It was finally time. If we waited too much longer, Connor would be ahead of us. He's already mastered the internet when it comes to finding children's games (on totally different sites than the ones I start him out on), so we knew we had to keep ahead of the boys and their phones. I'm sure, just like everything else in childhood, I'll blink and it will be time for them to have one.

The Journey Continues ...

If you look closely, you will notice a small difference at the top of this blog. It's easily overlooked if you're not paying close attention, but the change is there. It has actually always been there, if you chose to see it.

Today Xander received his official diagnosis for autism. Identical twin brothers, with very un-identical autism.

For a long time we took the wait and see approach with Xander. His behaviors, though still there in some degree, were much more minimal than the ones Sawyer displayed. We could not be sure how much was a reflection of not only having an identical twin brother with autism but also of a very limited peer environment (three boys less than 14 months apart will do that for you).

Quite honestly, Xander's regression was not so total and complete as his brother's, and it simply did not scare us enough to take the difficult road of a second diagnosis at age three. With a much less intense "developmental delay" diagnosis, he was admitted to the same services and benefits as his brother. We were willing to leave it at that for a while.

But we knew this day was coming. It was neither unexpected nor hard to accept. We simply knew.

The good news is that today's evaluation meeting was the next logical step. Every single member of the team, the ones who work with Xander on a daily basis, knew what the end result would be before we ever started. It was a formality, of sorts, an official stamp to a long-held belief.

Both twins have autism, in different degrees.

And it also clears the way for an exciting opportunity. With the official diagnosis, Xander can now participate in the grant program at their Early Start school next year. The grant is for a research study that specifically targets teaching methods to reach children with autism, will involve extensive teacher training over the summer and additional supports throughout the school year. It is an amazing opportunity for both of the boys.

The only down side to any of this is that Xander will have to leave the classroom he's been in the last two school years. We hate to lose the positive influence Ms. E and Mr. K have had on him, to see him removed from a familiar place and familiar people who have been instrumental in the tremendous improvements and strides he's made these last few years. But Ms. E's classroom is not participating in the grant program, and he will have to move to participate.

And that's where we are right now. Three boys, three different paths. Each one continues to move forward in his own time and his own way ... just another bend in this journey we call life.

At the Ball Field

Hanging, originally uploaded by cheryl.

Today we made our first trip of "summer" out to the ball field. Too bad the 80 degree weather disappeared and it turned cool (though still nice for this time of year).

Grandma and Grandpa drove up for the day, keeping the kids while Josh and I both worked and then going to watch Cousin Austin play this afternoon after I came home from work. The boys had a big afternoon of playing and even lunch out at McDonald's (even eating inside, which is a big deal to all of my boys).

We watched Cousin Austin win his game, then stopped out for a late dinner out. Connor's favorite, "chicken fingers" from Raising Cane's. Too bad he had begged for a hot dog from the ball field concession stand (which he proceeded to devour) and wasn't really hungry for dinner. Sawyer made up for it, eating quite a few chicken fingers before it was all said and done.

A good day, visiting with family and spending a beautiful Saturday night at the ball field. Summer can't be far away ...

Photo Flashback

Silly smile by Xander. (April 13, 2007)

School Days

Because who doesn't lay on the playground barefoot, playing with their orange Crocs?



And simultaneously give you "the look."



He likes to relax at recess, apparently.



Though he might also occasionally toss a ball into the hoop.

Special thanks to Mr. K for sending the pictures home from this week.

Another Day, Another Park

One Last Thing, originally uploaded by cheryl.

It's a hard life, but someone has to live it. That's Connor's motto.

Today we stopped in to see a friend who's about to move across the country, to drop off a CD of photos from our Book Club for Boys adventures. Our founding member is the one moving, and though we're sorry to see them go, we wanted to wish them well on their new adventure.

After that, we still had some time to kill before little brothers got out of school. So we stopped in to a city park we've only drove past before. Connor had a lot of fun exploring a new place with different play sets than the park we typically visit. And yes, that's three different times to the park this week, if you're counting.

We also stopped out for lunch (twice in one week, I know, we're slipping) and made a stop at the library. You see, we host the Book Club next week. Mommy needs to get her act together for the theme and the activities.

And that was our afternoon out. More Mommy & Me time. All too soon my big boy is going to be in school all day long, so we're trying to make the most of it this Spring while we still have the chance. Just a few more weeks until summer, and then Connor is going to have to share Mommy & Me time with his brothers!

Another Day at the Park

Happy, originally uploaded by cheryl.

We LOVE this weather. It's been a perfect couple of days in our part of the world.

Connor and I met up with his best preschool buddy (and his mom and little brother) at our neighborhood park today. The boys ran around playing and we got a chance to visit for a little while. It was the perfect way to spend the hour and half we have between when I pick up Connor and when we go to pick up the twins from their school.

Good friends. Good times.

Back Yard Fun

Pure Joy!, originally uploaded by cheryl.

The last few weeks have been absolutely beautiful in our part of the world, and definitely a lot warmer than normal. Unfortunately, for the last week or two, at least one if not all of us have been under the weather. This week seems to be going better.

And tonight we made our way outside for a few hours of back yard fun. There were lots of good photos (see more here), but this one spoke volumes. Pure joy. And it was contagious. A very good day.

A Little Mommy & Me Time

Climbing Up, originally uploaded by cheryl.

It wasn't one of our long days, because Connor actually had school today, but we were apparently both in the mood for a little adventure. It was a beautiful day in our part of the world, and I was thinking about seeing if Connor wanted to get lunch somewhere with a patio.

The minute we got in the truck after school he said something about how he was really hungry and Arby's sounded great. I had actually thought of it earlier, before my patio idea. It was probably cheaper than a sit-down restaurant, so I thought, why not?

To Arby's we went, where we enjoyed a quick lunch and then still had over an hour before we had to pick up the twins from their school. We went right past one of his favorite little parks, so I asked if he wanted to stop. You can probably guess his response at this point.

So we spent the afternoon with a little Mommy & Me fun time. Tomorrow we may have to run a few errands (grocery store, most likely), so today was the fun day. Lunch and a little stop at the park to enjoy the sunshine. A good day.

And if you want to see what Sawyer thought of our adventure without him, click here. It's actually quite humorous.

Quoted & Noted

A few days ago, the boys and I were out driving. We were on our way to pick up Mommy's medicine (for the lovely strep throat she managed to get) at the local grocery store pharmacy. Typically, when it's just me and Connor, we walk inside. This particular day it was all three boys, so we opted for the drive-through window, which meant taking a different road.

Connor thought he knew where we were going.

"Wait!" he cried from the back seat.

"What?" I asked, continuing to drive to our destination.

"You didn't turn," he said, very matter of factly. "That was the way to Poppy John's!" Not Papa John's, mind you, but "Poppy John's." That part was cute. But there was also tone, and perhaps even a little eye roll mixed in, which wasn't so cute.

"Yes, baby, you're right," I told him. "But THIS is the way to the pharmacy."

He was not pleased. Here he was thinking pizza, and Mommy was wanting medicine. Clearly I had my priorities all wrong.

The Week That Was ...

It's been a rough couple of weeks around our house. We keep trading random illnesses among each other, and the end result is no one has been completely well in nearly two weeks and there are frequently several of us not feeling well all at the same time.

It was bad enough that I even went to the doctor for the first time in years (as in before I had children) for an actual sickness instead of a well visit. I also even called in to work for the first time since I started last summer. I apparently managed to get strep throat, and am only hoping the others do not follow suit. Today is the first day since Tuesday that I've felt like getting off the couch, which means we've had a long week of watching movies (over and over and over) again. Stellar parenting, I know.

The boys have traded around fevers, stomach bugs, general lack of energy (meaning they sleep all day long and then all night long, too), lack of appetite and even the occasional getting sick all over the couch or the bed. Lovely.

As of right now, I'm taking some good drugs for my strep and no longer feel like I'm swallowing razor wire with every breath. Connor still isn't eating much, and he goes back and forth between bursts of energy and wanting to lay around. The good news is he hasn't thrown up any more since Wednesday morning, when he decided he didn't feel well enough to go to school. Sawyer is doing the best of all, with his appetite back and lots of energy (though he did sleep in this morning, which is rare and somewhat alarming). We'll keep our fingers crossed on him.

And poor Xander is back to being the most pitiful. A fever kept him home from school yesterday, though it was gone today and he was up and chatty like normal this morning. Off to school he went, and seemed to do fine, but he's crashed pretty hard this afternoon. No appetite and a lot of laying around.

Daddy seems to have missed the worst of it. He does have a sore throat, but not enough of one to send him to the doctor yet or to keep him home from work. We're crossing our fingers he stays well, too.

And that's been our last few weeks. A few moments of everyone seeming well and going out to play, followed by several days of everyone not feeling well and laying around the house. I'll try to go back and write some posts about the fun things we managed to fit in around all the sickness. Here's hoping everyone else is staying well!

Play Friends!

And Away They Go ..., originally uploaded by cheryl.

In between some of the illnesses this week, Connor had a good friend over to play for the afternoon. We were actually helping out his friends' mom, because he had a very sick little brother at home and we were helping with carpool so she didn't have to get him out of bed.

So that morning, we picked his buddy up and took them both to school. Then the first part of the afternoon was spent picking up a pizza for lunch and taking it to Josh's work site to share with him. Connor's friend was agreeable, as long as there was some "plain cheese" pizza just for him. It was a rather cute "Home Alone" moment, but plain cheese is exactly what he got.

We were supposed to drop him back off after I picked up the twins from their school about two, but we had spent so much time on lunch that the boys hadn't really played all that much. So I called up his friends' mom and made plans to keep him a bit longer. The boys played in the house for a bit, then decided to take the fun outside. They played out there all the way until it was time to take him home.

It was one of the few days this week that everyone was feeling well and enjoying themselves.

A Word!

It seems so small, so simple. But it's not. Not when you're talking about a little boy who doesn't use them.

Today, Sawyer said a word.

It was clear and loud and completely appropriate.

It was lunch time, of course. We talk all the time about how much motivation matters to him. If there's no interest for him, he's generally not going to cooperate, at least not willingly. And lunch is one of his favorite things. He particularly liked this lunch day, which involved bread.

One of his teachers was asking him what he wanted. He was apparently gesturing and they simply kept asking him what he wanted.

"Bread!"

One word. So simple, and yet it isn't. He doesn't use words functionally at all right now. The only one he uses with any consistency is "Mama," and even that one is usually hit or miss.

But he said this one so loudly and so clearly that all three classroom teachers heard it. His primary teacher, Mrs. R even told me today that she turned around from what she was doing because she wanted to know who had said it as she didn't recognize the voice.

Sawyer said it. And the fact that he did, is truly amazing.

And we knew it about that very same day, because his teachers are also truly amazing. A bright spot in an otherwise off week at our house.

Easter!

Easter!, originally uploaded by cheryl.

Clearly, the Easter Bunny came to see us at our house. He brought DVDs of the boys' favorite shows and some candy. He also hid a few eggs around the first floor, but only Connor was interested in finding any of them. Xander enjoyed the Nerds the most, but wasn't into much else. Sawyer was still a bit pitiful and didn't really care about any of it, except maybe watching the new movies!

We spent the afternoon at Grammy's house with both sides of Josh's extended family. Lots of food, fun and even an egg hunt or two.

Photos - lots and lots of photos - are here.

Big Boy Returns

With Spring Break almost over and the Easter Bunny on his way, Connor made his way home this afternoon. He's finally starting to feel a little more like himself, though he's probably still going to be a little tired for a while!

Grandma and Grandpa drove him back from the lake late this afternoon, where we met up with Uncle Brian and Cousins Austin and Kyndal for dinner at the old Cracker Barrel. The boys did well, with the exception of Sawyer who was sleepy and wouldn't budge out of my lap. Needless to say, I brought my dinner home for after I had put him into bed. The other two stayed up, spending time visiting with Grandma and Grandpa before they headed home and then staying up late to visit with Uncle Brian and Cousins Austin and Kyndal. Our house is a bit of a fun house, what with the big wheel bikes that go in circles around the double staircase (indestructible laminate wood floors, of course), so the kids were easily entertained.

Tomorrow should be interesting. Sawyer fell asleep around 7 o'clock at dinner, Xander didn't get put to bed until after 10 tonight and Connor made it just after 11. Wonder who will be up first to see what the Easter Bunny brought? And who won't want to get up in time to visit the extended family at Grammy's house just after lunch?

So it goes ...

Vacation, Days Three & Four

The internet was down at the condo last night, so you get photos from yesterday and today.



Playing at the water's edge ...



I love this look, which is wrong on so many levels. It's the smug, ha-ha, I'm cooler than you look of a five-year old. It still makes me smile.



Driving the race cars, all by himself ...



In the fast one, and he knows it, too. Grandpa tells us he's quite the little wheelman, that he was actually lapping the other kids (he really did have the fastest car, apparently) and that when one of the other kids tried to start blocking him from going around, he showed him that "rubbin' is racin'" and pushed his way around him!

Special thanks to Grandma and Grandpa not only for taking him on his mountain adventure, but for also sharing the photos!

Awareness

For those of us who have a child with autism, it's more than just a single day.

It's every single day.

If you've never clicked on the link on the side of this blog to "Diary of a Mom," you should. Her words are powerful and inspiring. Her story gives me hope.

Spring Break!

Swing Boys, originally uploaded by cheryl.

The first day we've actually gotten out of the house and enjoyed it!

We took another long stroller ride, enjoying the sunshine. And we also spent quite a bit of time out in the back yard on the swings.

Sawyer is finally feeling more like himself, though still light on the eating part. We even did lunch out with Daddy, though the boys were not fans of Five Guys. And I can't say that I blame them. Burgers were great. Fries, not so much. And that is, of course, all the twins would actually eat anyway. Thumbs down for them, though they did enjoy the Coke (a LOT).