Buster Brown (in Instagram Shots)

Every image is a snapshot of his personality. Love him. Miss him more than words could ever express. Rest in peace, sweet baby boy.

A Hard Goodbye

Our lives changed last week.

And it's going to take a long, long time for anything to feel normal again.

When I come home from dropping the boys off at school, I expect him to greet me at the door. Or to come sit down by me while I eat breakfast at the dining room table, looking over his shoulder hoping for something good from my plate.

When I sit down at my desk to work, I still see the scratch marks on the wood floor near the front windows. It's where likes to lay, right by my side, usually staring out the window, waiting to bark at anyone who dared to walk on his sidewalk (or even the other one across the street).

When I get ready to leave the house, I want to check and make sure he's back inside the house just in case it rains. I want to say, "Bye baby, I'll be back later," just as I always have.

When I pull back in the driveway, I expect him to be sitting in front of the windows watching for my return.

As I come back home through the garage door, I still see his collar and leash hanging on a peg near the door, ready to take him on his walk around the block.

When I'm dressed up in nice clothes for work, I expect him to come up for a hug, to cover me in red hair and slime.

When there's leftovers from lunch or dinner, I want to drop them in his bowl and say "treats" so he'll come running into the kitchen.

When we go outside to play, I expect him to come running. He loves to be part of the family, to chase the balls or dig in the dirt while the boys are bouncing on the trampoline.

When I walk into the sun room to help the boys clean up toys at the end of the day, I expect him to be laying there on his big, blue bed.

When I sit down on the couch at night to watch television, I expect him to come lay by my corner of the couch, so I can rub his back with my foot, just as I always do.

When I'm watching a favorite show, I expect him to come stand at the end of the couch just looking at me, telling me it's time to go outside right now, just as the good part is about to begin.

When it's time for bed, I expect him to want to go outside and bark at the wind, just because that's what he always does. And once he comes back inside, I want to pull some pepperoni out of the drawer in the refrigerator, to bribe a little love and snuggle time.

Everywhere that I look, everything that I do, makes me think of him. The house feels so empty now without him. It's so hard to believe that he's not here with us anymore. He was the first baby. And he always will be.

Everywhere that I go, everywhere that I am, he'll still be with me, even if it's only in my heart now.

Rest in peace, my sweet puppy. You were very much loved, and you will be very much missed. I am so glad your last day with us was a happy one. You stayed at my feet while I worked, and you barked at the other dogs who walked down our street. You had your favorite bone in the back yard, and you got Daddy to take you for a walk around the block. You even had special treats for your dinner. And we were right there by your side as you said goodbye.

Buster Brown, March 12, 2003 - October 2, 2013
Music: The Dance, vocals Garth Brooks, songwriter Tony Arata, producer Allen Reynolds (1990).

Ready to Go

Ready for School, a photo by here we wander on Flickr.

It's probably my fault. When I ordered the boys their new school shoes and their new backpacks, I probably should have kept them in box. And not let the boys see them.

Because once they did, it was all over. Both boys wanted to put on their new shoes the minute they saw them in the bench. And yes, yes they are bright, bright red. Both boys wanted to put on their new backpacks. And as soon as we had everything on, both of them went running for the garage door.

"School?" Xander kept asking. Over and over again. Even Sawyer was saying "Go!" And that's pretty big for him.

Let's just say they wore their new gear for a few hours before I could convince them to put it back away. And they were severely disappointed when we did not, in fact, head out the door to school.

The scene has replayed itself several times in the last week.

Lesson learned. Next year, keep the new school stuff in the box. Until the night before school. After the boys have gone to bed. Maybe then the waiting will not be quite so hard.

And no, if you're wondering, Connor did not join in the fun. He's not been home very much this summer, but even on the handful of days that he's been home, he has not wanted to try out his new backpack or shoes. He's perfectly content to sleep in while he still can.

Just a few more weeks, and ready (yes for the twins) or not (no really for Connor), school will be here.

Snapshot Sunday

Not Looking, a photo by here we wander on Flickr.

Snapshot Sunday

Good Boy, a photo by here we wander on Flickr.

Three Brothers

Three Brothers, originally uploaded by cheryl.

It's rare, seeing our three boys play something together. But every once in a while, the moment happens. It's usually fleeting, broken up by loss of interest by one one or hatefulness of another, but it's sometimes there.

Saturday afternoon it was there.

The boys and I had gone to the local neighborhood park to celebrate opening day of Connor's little league (just a few weeks late because of all the rain). It was chaotic and wild, especially since I was there with all three boys on my own. The twins hated the stroller. Connor wanted to play a game, not participate in a ceremony. I stood there wondering what I had been thinking to bring them all up there myself.

Grammy and Pappy and Louie found us, and came to the rescue. They took the twins over the free inflatable section, where they bounced and slid to their hearts content while the ceremony was going on (and most of the people were there watching and not bouncing or sliding).

I got to focus on Connor during the ceremony, sneaking onto the field for some close-up shots of him with his teammates during their introduction. He had fun in the end, though still not as much fun as an actual game.

We met up with Grammy, Pappy and brothers, where he, too, got to bounce and slide. I went back to wait in the ridiculously long line for icees - one green and one red.

It turned into a good day. And we finished the afternoon off by spending the beautiful day outside in the back yard. We had sidewalk chalk and bubbles, two of the boys favorites. And they actually played together. Connor was blowing bubbles and the others were watching and chasing.

Three brothers, playing together. Rare. Fleeting. And always incredibly amazing to see. 

We Are House Puppies

We are House Puppies, originally uploaded by cheryl.

Grammy and Pappy are out of town this week on vacation, and Cousin Louie came to our house to stay. He was incredibly excited to see us, but was not at all impressed with his accommodations.

The two puppies together get wild and loud, and we often resort to putting them into the back yard to get some of that wild energy out. They're happy to go, at first, but quickly change their minds.

They are house puppies, they tell us. And the really want back inside now, please.

Louie would also like to request a different sleeping arrangement. We had both puppies in the sun room, where Buster usually sleeps, but they kept getting into it. Louie is a bit of a pest, and Buster kept growling and snapping at him. We finally moved his bed into the nice, quiet living room. But that didn't suit Louie either. He would like to request that he not be expected to sleep in a room by himself. He whimpered half the night because we did not let him sleep in one of the bedrooms (which have carpet, and are thus off limits to someone who sheds the way Louie does).

It's tough, being spoiled house puppies.

While the Boys Were Away ...

The Remodeled Sun Room, originally uploaded by cheryl.

... Daddy most certainly did not play. He spent his two days off from the fire department remodeling our sun room. He ripped up all of the hideous green (think pool-table green) indoor-outdoor carpet that was original to the house (see here for the before photo). He cleaned and scrubbed, and then put down a brand new tile floor. And then he cleaned and scrubbed some more (because grout is messy). I even helped clean a few times, too, trying to get all the grout haze off the new tile.

We won't even talk about how he moved all of the existing furniture out by himself, especially the ridiculously heavy old-school television. The couch was probably pretty tricky, too, since it has to be angled to come through the sun room door into the house, up a few steps. But he did it all while the boys and I were at the lake. We came home to a brand new sun room!

This week we have a few finishing touches to add. He's already painted the quarter round to trim the edge, but we haven't nailed that down yet. We also have plans to make the room more kid-friendly, which includes installing a flat-panel television with a built-in DVD player (mounted high on the wall to prevent mishaps) and adding some simple toy storage. We pulled out the old dresser and table that had been in there, because rather than being used as they were intended, the boys mostly just climbed on them. Sawyer in particular was fond of climbing on the table to steal people's drinks off the kitchen counter (there is a pass-through window between the two rooms).

So it's still a work in progress, but the biggest and hardest part - the floor - is done. The kids are missing their television, of course, but have been busy playing with their toys in the new, improved play room We'll eventually get the television installed.

Buster also approves. He's taken to laying on the new area rug instead of the expensive, customized dog bed we ordered a few months back from Lands End.

So it goes.

It's a Rough Life ...

It's a Rough Life ..., originally uploaded by cheryl.

Between school, work and the holidays, I haven't had much free time. I also have a wounded camera - my main lens attachment is broken (it was knocked around a little bit, on accident, by a certain little boy). You can still take pictures, but you have to be careful to hold the lens connected to the camera, because it will fall off if you don't. It makes it hard to zoom and focus while you're making sure it doesn't fall, so my pictures have been fewer and farther in between than normal.

But Buster laying on the couch was too much to pass up. He's done it before, but usually only after the boys had pulled the cushions off the couch to use in pillow forts (it's lower and easier for him to climb onto then). But today he decided he would climb up there cushions and all.

It's a rough life, he says, but someone has to live it ...

Hard Days Play

Hard Days Play, originally uploaded by cheryl.

The days run together lately, but this was taken one day late last week. It was a rough week all the way around.

School is always a little bit exhausting for Connor, even more so when you add in things like play dates with friends (Hi J and P!) and child-led teacher conferences. It was a long week. And he was simply worn out.

And poor Buster has it even worse. In our old house, he was used to sleeping in as long as he wanted (he had his own room) and going in and out of the house whenever he wanted. Now he sleeps in the sun room - which is also the boys' play room - by his choice. We tried to put him in the over-sized laundry / mud room, but he moved himself out there and we let him.

That was before Sawyer started getting up at 4:30 in the morning. Not once, but three different times last week. Oy! Buster is also exhausted. He says you try sleeping with a bouncy, noisy, wide-awake little boy in your bedroom at that ungodly hour of the day.

So my two big boys were tired, and decided to nap together. How I wish I could join them some days!

Finally at Home

Finally at Home, originally uploaded by cheryl.

After hiding in the sun room for the first few weeks at our new house, Buster has finally decided it's okay to come inside. We think the real hard wood (versus the laminate in our old house) made him nervous. Clearly he's gotten over it, because this is now his favorite spot - right underneath the fan in the front room - and also right beneath the big picture windows on the front of the house, convenient for barking at people who dare to walk on the sidewalk.

Snapshot Sunday

Puppy kisses.

Photo Flashback

Two for the price of one . . . I just couldn't decide!



Connor sitting pretty with our big and little "punks," as he used to call them.



Connor sharing candy with Grammy after he finally decided to go trick-or-treating as Tow-Mater, you know, the last 15 minutes of official trick-or-treating time in our city. (October 2007)

Just Here

Enjoying the warm fall weather while it lasts, despite the sniffles . . .



Brothers playing. You have no idea how nice this is to see. We hope someday Sawyer will want to join in and play, too.



Buster trying to draw Sawyer into a fun game of tug-o-war with his favorite rings. Sawyer is having none of it, of course.




And so the puppy inevitably comes to me. Mommy will play, he knows.



And earlier in the day, while brothers were at school, a big boy dreaming of summer fun. Do you see it? It's a swimming pool (the big splotch) with a multi-colored beach ball, some umbrellas and beach chairs, and even a lifeguard chair (under his foot) and a slide (top). Big boy, big imagination.

Snapshot Sunday

Play, play!

My puppy loves his rings. And I know he looks a little fierce in this photo, but he's not. He just really, really likes to play with his rings. This would be the second set that Cousin Louie, the Old English bulldog, has had to replace in recent months. Buster LOVES them. And Mommy had played enough for one day, so he was merely taking it upon himself to play a little more.

Why Buster Doesn't Like Them

Kidding, of course. But it is why he prefers to play with Mommy. Trust me.

Here is Connor teasing our good puppy, holding his favorite toy (the linking rings for tug-o-war) high above from the play fort, where Buster can't get to them.



He wants them, you can tell. He wouldn't be looking up so intently if he didn't.



Oh, wait, maybe he can reach them up there. He is a giant dog, after all. It does make us kind of nervous, since both of those back legs have had most likely painful (and definitely very expensive) ACL surgeries in the past. Connor, of course, jerks the rings back just moments before Buster could grab them.



So now Buster tries a different approach, thinking perhaps he has a better chance from behind (where the opening to climb up the ladder is at).



Connor doesn't like the way Buster is looking at him, with his very intent and typical "Play, play!" face (Over the Hedge, anyone?) My puppy doesn't know he's six year old. Let's just say that when Buster gets excited to play, you don't want to be standing too close. He get so excited his whole body wags, not just his tail. And he runs around in excited circles, all 165 pounds of him! Connor wisely tosses the rings out for him to have.



And he, of course, in his "Play, play!" excitement, brings them straight to Mommy. Surely she'll put down the camera long enough for a good game of tug-o-war. Surely.

Photo Flashback

Daddy and the first baby when he was about 6 months. (September 23, 2003)

Photo Flashback

Three boys, checking each other out. Connor and Daddy and Buster Brown. (July 10, 2005)

Photo Flashback

The first baby, at four months and growing. (July 10, 2003)

Not Quite What We Had in Mind

Look who thinks the pool was set up just for him. He starts out by taking a drink from outside the pool, which is bad enough when you consider the drool factor. But then he just walks right in like he owns the place. Next he's jumping around and splashing, wagging his tail and ready to play (with his rather sharp toe nails). Not exactly what we had in mind.

It looks like the puppy is going to have to be gated off the deck this summer, and he's not going to like that one bit. How else is he going to stay cool and bark like a crazy dog every time someone dares to walk through his yard (you know, on the public sidewalk)? It's necessary to scare the people walking (and often their dogs) and to annoy the neighbors, apparently.

Otherwise, the kiddie pool is going to stay covered in muddy paw prints and dog hair, and that was not the plan when we rearranged the deck this summer. Buster playing in the pool was a small issue last summer, but usually only when the cover that came with the pool wasn't put back on soon enough. Unfortunately, said cover tore (possibly from a big puppy stepping on it) and no longer exists.

Perhaps if we're nice puppy owners (or slightly crazy), we might invest in one of the really inexpensive plastic pools to keep on the concrete deck below. Buster can keep cool this summer without ruining the kids' pool for them, and the neighbors (hopefully) will avoid crazy barking dog (who, of course, barks on cue as I type from the currently still accessible deck). Win, win.