A Hard Goodbye

Our lives changed last week.

And it's going to take a long, long time for anything to feel normal again.

When I come home from dropping the boys off at school, I expect him to greet me at the door. Or to come sit down by me while I eat breakfast at the dining room table, looking over his shoulder hoping for something good from my plate.

When I sit down at my desk to work, I still see the scratch marks on the wood floor near the front windows. It's where likes to lay, right by my side, usually staring out the window, waiting to bark at anyone who dared to walk on his sidewalk (or even the other one across the street).

When I get ready to leave the house, I want to check and make sure he's back inside the house just in case it rains. I want to say, "Bye baby, I'll be back later," just as I always have.

When I pull back in the driveway, I expect him to be sitting in front of the windows watching for my return.

As I come back home through the garage door, I still see his collar and leash hanging on a peg near the door, ready to take him on his walk around the block.

When I'm dressed up in nice clothes for work, I expect him to come up for a hug, to cover me in red hair and slime.

When there's leftovers from lunch or dinner, I want to drop them in his bowl and say "treats" so he'll come running into the kitchen.

When we go outside to play, I expect him to come running. He loves to be part of the family, to chase the balls or dig in the dirt while the boys are bouncing on the trampoline.

When I walk into the sun room to help the boys clean up toys at the end of the day, I expect him to be laying there on his big, blue bed.

When I sit down on the couch at night to watch television, I expect him to come lay by my corner of the couch, so I can rub his back with my foot, just as I always do.

When I'm watching a favorite show, I expect him to come stand at the end of the couch just looking at me, telling me it's time to go outside right now, just as the good part is about to begin.

When it's time for bed, I expect him to want to go outside and bark at the wind, just because that's what he always does. And once he comes back inside, I want to pull some pepperoni out of the drawer in the refrigerator, to bribe a little love and snuggle time.

Everywhere that I look, everything that I do, makes me think of him. The house feels so empty now without him. It's so hard to believe that he's not here with us anymore. He was the first baby. And he always will be.

Everywhere that I go, everywhere that I am, he'll still be with me, even if it's only in my heart now.

Rest in peace, my sweet puppy. You were very much loved, and you will be very much missed. I am so glad your last day with us was a happy one. You stayed at my feet while I worked, and you barked at the other dogs who walked down our street. You had your favorite bone in the back yard, and you got Daddy to take you for a walk around the block. You even had special treats for your dinner. And we were right there by your side as you said goodbye.

Buster Brown, March 12, 2003 - October 2, 2013
Music: The Dance, vocals Garth Brooks, songwriter Tony Arata, producer Allen Reynolds (1990).

At the Club

A few weeks back, Grammy and Pappy invited us out to their club pool for the afternoon. The weather in our part of the world finally started to feel like summer. Never mind that it was August pushing into September. So we packed up after a baseball and soccer game, and headed out to the club. 

        

And the boys swam. And swam and swam. And slid down the slide. And jumped off the diving board. And ran back and forth between the three different pools and the snack bar. In other words, they had a great time.

Soaking up the last days of summer vacation at the pool. My boys can't think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Back to Baseball

It's that time of year again ... fall baseball. Do you hear the twins screaming and crying? Trust me, they do. A lot. The good news is that they haven't had to come to too many practice or games so far this season. Their helpers have been with them most days after school, and they've gotten to stay home to finish homework or go on fun adventures of their own.

Connor has moved up in to the bigger leagues. Major-Minors. Where kids pitch to kids. It's interesting. Let's just put it that way. The coach is moving all the players around, so Connor is playing his usual positions of catcher, second base and outfield. With more players on the team, all the kids are also rotating sitting on the bench for a few innings each game.

And the batting ... that's really interesting. Because, you know, kids are pitching. Connor had one really good hit on his first at bat, a slide-in triple. It sailed over the outfielders heads and rolled to the fence. That was a pretty good pitcher. The others, not as much. Because there are kids like Connor, who have never, ever pitched before, who are now pitching.

He did, last game. He struck out one and walked three. But only one run scored in the inning because the kids were hitting infield grounders off of him.

So, we are back to baseball. The twins are not thrilled, but they aren't having to endure it too much. It's not quite as fun to watch as Rookie league was, but it's definitely interesting to watch. I have a feeling Spring is going to be even more interesting ...

Weekend with the Big Boy

A few weeks back, the boys had the day off from school on Friday. Apparently our district likes to ease us back into the school year, three days the first week, then four day the next.

With a day off from school, we hit up Grandma and Grandpa to come keep the little guys so we could take Connor on an big boy adventure. We planned a day of things we knew he would like, but that we would have trouble doing with all three boys along. We drove a few hours away to take in an aquarium right on the river, and then we made our way across the river to see a major league baseball game.

The Newport Aquarium was a lot more fun than I expected. It probably helped that the local schools were in session while we were there. It wasn't crowded at all. I got several pictures in the big tunnel walkways with just Connor and Josh in them. I'm guessing that wouldn't happen on a weekend or on a regular day in the summer.

So we spent a few hours exploring there. Connor was in a hurry, as usual, but he really did seem to enjoy most of the exhibits. His favorites, according to him, were the sharks, the rays, the penguins and the otters. He started out with two favorites, but when I mentioned mine, he added them to his favorites as well.

And then we made our way across the big river bridge to Great American Ball Park. We were a little early, so we spent some time in the team store. It as packed, probably because there was air conditioning. Connor ended up with a souvenir backpack (the drawstring cinch sack). It served a dual purpose. We had been looking for one for him for a while, just for taking over to friends' houses or little day trips to places. But buying one at the baseball field meant we could hand his baseball glove and foam finger back over to him to carry, in his backpack of course.

So we watched the Reds and the Brewers play. The home team lost, but it was still a fun night. We had Skyline chili dogs, nachos, snow cones, Pepsi(s) and all kinds of ball park food (and let's face it, that's Mommy's favorite part of going anyway). It was a Friday Fireworks night, so we got to watch fireworks over the Ohio River after the game.

It was a long day, and an even longer night. Poor Daddy had to get up and go to work at the fire station the next morning. That's why I had the fun task of driving home. And Grandma and Grandpa had the even more fun task of driving back to their house in the middle of the night after we got back to our house.

The big boys says it was worth it.

A few other photos are here ...

Soccer Sundays

Sawyer is less certain about our return to soccer. He participates, and he does pretty well with the basics, but he is not particularly happy to be there or to be participating. As you can see in the photo. He's dribbling the ball, but he's also voicing his frustration about it. My arms are also covered in bruises and scratches from pinches, his way of voicing his frustration.

I expected him to like the outdoor version better. He seemed happy when we were there during the summer for a brief practice session with his coaches. It was less crowded and less formal then, so perhaps that's part of it. There were several new team members added to our group from last Spring. There were a lot of volunteer "buddies" and others on the fields. It was busier. And, even though we'd been here once before, it was a new routine.

Hopefully Sawyer will come around. He's not necessarily a natural athlete like Xander (he has some apraxia and motor planning issues). But he understand the basics and does pretty well with those. Like Xander, he struggles with the listening and following directions part. He was also ready to quit about 15 minutes in, so that made for a long first practice. We'll keep trying ...

There's always Wendy's french fries after we're done. Surely that has to help.