Though he does not choose to say many words out loud, we have long thought that Xander has many more words than he is willing to share. He is definitely less social than a lot of kids his age, but he is also definitely more social than his twin brother. He engages, when he wants to, and interacts when it suits him. We have never truly worried about him being quirky and cool, at least not with the classic autism that Sawyer has been diagnosed with.
Xander's delay is largely speech. He also stopped talking (or trying to talk) about the same time that Sawyer did - about 2 years old. For both boys, the one word descriptions they had mastered just slowly faded, as though talking wasn't worth the effort anymore. Did Xander stop because his twin brother did, because his big brother suddenly began talking non-stop and there wasn't a chance, or because of something else?
We don't know.
But the words are there. You will hear them, often mumbled unexpectedly or just under his breath as he's walking away. Sounds, words, imitations of things that have just been said. Sometimes they're simple things like letters or beginning speech sounds like "sh" or "ba" or other simple combinations. Sometimes they are outright words, like "apple juice" or "garage" or "juice" or "more". Sometimes they are random, but more often than not they are appropriate. They are muttered after you have described the object or just after you have finished playing with an object. He knows what the words mean. He knows when and how to use them. He simply chooses not to.
Today, while playing outside, he spontaneously and appropriately said "Hi!" and waved. I had gone inside for a minute, and Josh and I returned to the deck and stood there watching the kids play on their new playground equipment. He happened to look up and see us there, said "Hi!" loudly and clearly, waved his hand with a grin, then proceeded to climb the ladder up to the slide.
There it was, so simple and so easy. Yet clearly it's not, because it doesn't happen all the time. It happens maybe one time in twenty. There is so much there, knowledge and understanding, he just isn't always willing to share it.
School has helped. We see a big difference in where he was just a few months ago compared to where he is now. We see progress, slowly but surely, in both of them. New environments, peer experiences, one-on-one teacher instruction, small group therapy - all good and helpful things.
Both of my little guys, coming along in their own time and in their own way.
