Little Moments ...

It's been a busy couple of weeks. So many little moments are getting lost in the hectic schedule of starting a new school year and getting the twins settled into kindergarten. Here are some of the bits and pieces from those last few weeks ...

Connor's favorite part of school is recess. He really, really wants to take his lunch to school (just because he wants a cool lunch box, not because he doesn't like the school food). He loves it when he sees our neighbor, his friend P who is a grade ahead of him, in the hallway at school, and he recognizes him. He thinks first grade is hard, and he wishes they got to play more. He likes to tell me about the times when he sees his brothers at school, and what they're doing when he sees them. But you can't believe everything he says, otherwise Sawyer is eating a chicken sandwich every single day, bun first and then the chicken. He cannot wait for fall baseball to start, and asks every single day when his first practice and game will be. He covets an iPad of his own, and in his recent obsession with how much things cost, keeps badgering us about the cost of an iPad and how long it might take him to save up for one. He misses his school friends from last year, but has already made some new ones. He tells funny stories from school, and I have a hard time distinguishing the truth from his imagination. He apparently threw away a school hall pass because it was decorated with scribbles and is not allowed to go to the bathroom ever again (so he says), and he had to walk at recess today because his star was moved two times (meaning he did something wrong twice), but he swears someone moved it the first time just to be mean because he only got in trouble once. He yelled at someone (can't imagine where he might get that from, really). Overall, he is happy and seems to be adjusting well to the new school and the new routine.

Sawyer is spending most of his day in his resource (special education) room. His team is working with him to increase his time in the traditional classroom. When he passes his classmates in the hallway, many of them reach out to give him high-fives as they pass. He has one or two classmates who love to try to play with him, and one little girl in particular who tries to take care of him. Today at recess, she helped push him on the swings and sat down by him on the wall with some bubbles. When she wandered off a little while later, he got up and followed her, pulling her by the hand back to the wall so they could sit back down together. He is initiating interaction and play with a peer, which is simply astounding. He frequently tries to get people to do things for him, but to want a peer just to be with him. That's incredibly rare. He is not incredibly interested in his new communication software on his iPad, and we're afraid we may have to take the games and videos off for a while to get him to use it purposefully. He will not be pleased. He comes home happy, ready for something to eat and drink, and full of hugs. Though I know the days are sometimes long and hard for him, he still smiles and laughs and snuggles when he comes home at the end of the day.

Xander is learning his new routine. He generally has good days at school, though unexpected changes can make the rest of the day a big challenge. One day it was simply changing his shirt because he spilled something on it, another day it was the first visit to a "specials" classroom (art, music, science, etc.). He is busy testing the boundaries of every single person he interacts with, and his aide tells us she keeps him busy and active all day long. He is bringing home all kinds of written work - lots of perfect letters and numbers and words. He's also spelling a lot of new words, which I can only assume is coming from school. I even got him to look at his "sight words" on the classroom newsletter and identify them for me. I was never worried he would not learn them, but I was not sure how willing he would be to answer when you asked him to tell you a specific word. Fingers cautiously crossed that he will keep doing it for us. Most days he comes in and flops himself straight onto his bed. Before he even gets his shoes off or his snack. He eventually makes it back for those important things, but bed is his first choice. Despite that, he usually comes home in a good mood and manages to stay up until bed time.

Those are some of our little moments. I'm sure there are more that I have missed, but it's at least a snapshot of their first week at their brand new school ...

Finding Motivation

It's a little over a week into the new school year. The boys and I are settling into a new routine. The twins and I are celebrating the loss of the very long car line we had to wait in last year, bridging the gap between their earlier dismissal and Connor's magnet (read mostly out-of-district and therefore mostly car rider) school dismissal.

We all appreciate the new afternoon dismissal - I park in a small parking lot near one of the front entrances to the school, and the boys' teachers walk them out to me.

For the first few days, we were just a regular member of the much-quicker school car line. I waited on a nice, shady tree-lined street for about 15 minutes before the line started moving, spent maybe five minutes in line, and then we headed home. But Xander was having some trouble, particularly if I had to pull around the circle past where he was standing. He apparently thought I was just driving through to taunt him, and that I was going to drive off without bothering to pick any one up. He was screaming and falling down on the ground, trying to dart out into the car line and causing his aide quite a bit of trouble.

Now the boys come out quietly, easily and simply climb into my waiting truck. I don't have to worry about quickly getting their seat belts on and getting out of someone else's way. Most of the parents have one, maybe two kids, to pick up. I have three, and two of them need quite a bit of help getting in and getting buckled up. So the teachers' recommended this new plan, and so far it's worked out well.

We're home about five minutes after dismissal. The boys get to ride in their new seats in the truck - Connor up front with me and Sawyer and Xander in the middle row. We usually have the windows down, which all the boys love. It's a quick, happy drive home.

To help with the new overall transition, I have been bringing a Gatorade and suckers in the afternoon. Some days it's a big sucker - like a Ring Pop or a Blow Pop, but most days it's just a simple DumDum. Easy, inexpensive and something that makes them happy at the end of a long school day.

That small treat is never enough. All three boys come home starving. And dying of thirst.

Every. Single. Day.

Even if they had a big lunch.

And ate all their snack.

They're still ravenous.

So every day we come in, put backpacks on the new kitchen island, take off shoes and socks (which my boys hate) and then the boys sit at the table for their snack. Most days it's simply some chips (pretzels or Goldfish) and a drink (milk or apple juice). And several refills of each. Clearly school is hard on them, and draining all their resources. Because they're still ready for dinner a few hours later, too.

While they're snacking, I'm going through backpacks. Connor and Xander have folders to go through every day. Parents must initial their daily log, and also empty folders of work and check for announcements. Sawyer has a journal that his resource teacher and I both write in, and that's also checked daily for updates. The twins both have a snack and change of clothes in their backpack, and that must be checked and refilled every day (usually the snack anyway, most days the change of clothes is fine). And Xander has a lunchbox to empty and prepare for the next day, because he won't touch the school food for anything (believe me, we tried for three years of Early Start).

Next is the request for screens. It also never fails. Connor covets the iPad and his Wi-Fi games (very silly ones, if you ask me). Xander wants the desktop computer for pbskids.org. And Sawyer would take either the iPad or a movie, depending on his mood and the day.

We have struggled with balancing play and screens in our house for a while now. The boys are all technology junkies. They love movies. They love computer games. They love handheld games (the Xander's iXl, Connor's DIDJ, and now Sawyer's iPad). Absolute junkies.

Our new rule, at least on school nights, is one hour or one movie. And we're even making one of the boys work for it.

As the oldest, with two years of preschool and one year of kindergarten under his belt, Connor should have the best handwriting of the three. He doesn't. Xander's letters and numbers are much more legible than his. Even Sawyer's name is usually clearer when he writes it. Connor often adds extra letters and even misspells his own name. It's not that he doesn't know how to spell his name, it's that he gets careless and in a hurry. This week I saw both "Coonnor" and "Conner" on his own homework.

So we implemented a new rule. To get his hour of iPad, always his first choice, he has to write a page of letters (upper and lower case) and numbers. Right now, I'm letting him have a guide of the correct letters and numbers. Eventually, he will have to make the page on his own, and will have to keep correcting it until it's done.

Here was today's version of the work ...

... and the reward.

Please note the date we have been writing at the top of each page. Connor, though he has been telling me the day of the month and the year, has not been writing it on the page. Apparently he forgot it was there, because this afternoon he tried to pass of yesterday's letters and numbers as today's. When I called him on it, he said he was just showing it to me again because he did such a good job yesterday. Little sneak. I made him write today's, go back a few times to correct some lazy errors, and also told him he had to add his first and last name as well, just for trying to cheat.

Soon we'll add spelling words to his daily list. He's not going to like that.

Welcome to first grade ...

School Days

The first day of school came and went pretty quickly.

It was a rough start in car line, but from what the teachers all tell me, it got better from there. I had a few email updates from the teachers, who surely knew I was wondering about my boys. I only had one phone call during the day, just to make sure Sawyer was actually going to eat the school lunch. Since the twins started school three years ago, they have always had snacks in their backpacks. Apparently my children eat a lot compared to most people, because his snack looked like enough for a lunch to his teachers.

All three boys came home happy. And hungry. They all made a bee line straight for the refrigerator and pantry when we got back home. It took several glasses of juice and quite a few chips to satisfy their hunger before they would even consider doing anything else.

Sawyer spent the next thirty minutes in his room, bouncing like a mad man in his swing. Clearly he needed to get some energy out and to find some familiar comfort. It took a while for me to convince him to come outside and play with his brothers, and he normally does not need convincing to go outside.

As a treat, I had spent part of the day they were in school cleaning out the backyard pool and getting it ready to use after a few weeks break (it had not been used since before our beach vacation). The boys did a lot of initial splashing and bouncing, but quickly wore out.

We had an early dinner and attempted our "school" bedtime routine. The boys were all in bed by a little after 8:30 that night. Only two of them were not really ready for sleep. Xander gave in first, maybe an hour or so after bedtime. Sawyer took much longer.

Day two also came and went without any major incident.

Car line was much better. Sawyer's teacher came prepared with dry cereal, and my boy was signing "eat" and "please" (his general version of "I want") before the car had even stopped and the doors were unlocked. All three climbed out and went willingly into school.

No phone calls. A few emails, just to keep me updated, which I love. And then they came home happy again (and less hungry, though still wanting a snack).

We had a relatively good weekend. The boys and I drove to the other side of the state to visit with extended family for most of the day on Saturday. Sunday it rained off and on, so we spent a lazy day around the house.

Day three was today. The boys all slept in again - of course. Xander was starting to move around when I got up, so he was first to get up and get ready. Next Sawyer came around, though still sleepy (probably because he did not fall asleep until well after 11 last night, despite going to bed before 9). Connor even woke himself up (or heard us moving around making noise). We were all dressed and fed and ready in plenty of time.

Car line was okay. Connor hopped right out. Sawyer hesitated, at which point Xander climbed right over him and jumped down to go inside. Sawyer looked at me with his not-very-happy face. He was tense and not ready to leave. We eventually talked him into it, and he went willingly with his teacher without complaint or trying to fall to the ground.

Slowly, we are finding our new routine. The boys are doing very well so far, with only minor issues here and there. We have been incredibly impressed with the school and the staff these early days. We are incredibly hopeful that the transition will continue to go well, that the school year will be a good one. We are all finding our way ...

Time For School

Time For School, a photo by here we wander on Flickr.

Today was the first day of the new school year.

Several things happened exactly as I knew they would.

With a later start time, the boys get to sleep in a little later than last school year. Our alarm was set for 7 o'clock this morning. Not one of the boys was awake yet. Not even Sawyer, who's often up long before the sun. All three, still sound asleep. All three, grudgingly being pulled from their beds.

We got them all up, to the bathroom and dressed in pretty decent time. The little guys were happy with their dry cereal and milk and Disney Channel cartoons. Connor sat down at the table for some breakfast (a Toaster Strudel and chocolate milk).

Next it was time for shoes. That's when the tears started. Connor was good about his, as usual. He likes to wear tennis shoes, and was particularly excited about his brand new school tennis shoes. The twins do not like to wear tennis shoes, preferring to wear open and airy Crocs if they have to wear shoes at all. They cried the minute their socks went on. Sawyer even managed to remove his shoes and socks a few times before we even left the house.

Once their shoes were on (and staying on), they were rewarded with some GoGurt while they finished their cartoons. Their backpacks and Xander's lunch were already prepared last night, so that was all ready. All we needed was three little boys to come into the kitchen, get their backpacks, and head out the door around 8 o'clock.

And this is what we got. (See picture above).

The twins both screamed and cried and fell down to the floor. Connor looked on with unimpressed superiority. He knew how to go to school without crying. Silly brothers.

The school is just a few minutes away. We all climbed in - Mommy and brothers in their new seating arrangement (Connor in a booster up front, the twins in boosters in the middle row). You see, in early start, parents stopped their cars and helped kids out three cars at a time, while teachers took kids and walked them into the fenced play area so they could go into school. Elementary school car line is much different - it does not stop and it is not fenced in. The teachers open the car doors, the kids exit on the passenger side, walk on the open sidewalk into school, and you're supposed to drive away. Moving the boys up closer will help me get everyone unbuckled and into backpacks before we reach the drop off point.

Today, Daddy also rode in the very back (the twins old spot) to help with the first day of drop off. That also went as expected. Connor waited for the school principal (who was helping with car line) to open his door, and he quickly went off on his way without so much as a backward glance. His brothers, not so much. They both fell down to the floor of the truck crying and protesting. With a little help from Daddy pushing, and a few of the boys teachers and aides (who will meet our truck every day) pulling, we managed to get them out while other cars went on around us. The boys protested loudly and kept falling down purposefully to the sidewalk as we were driving away, but their teachers assured us they would have a good day before we drove off.

And we kept driving.

As hard as it is to leave the boys at a new place with new people, I know this is what they need. I did not want to walk them in the first day, only to have them expect it every single day thereafter. I did not want their protest and struggle to be rewarded with me parking the truck and going inside after them (though I might have been tempted). I did not want to sit outside the school, watching to see if they made it inside with or without a struggle. I did not want to wait for them to try to escape or sit outside the school wondering if I would get a phone call sooner or later or not at all.

I wanted to believe their new teachers, that the boys would have a good day.

New places. New people. New routines. All of these things are hard for our twins. But life is hard, and sometimes you have to do things you do not want to do. It's the next step, and I am confident that they are in good and loving hands in their new school, that we have once again been blessed with a solid team to support our boys in their journey.

Was it hard to drive away? Absolutely. But it was the best thing for them. And for me. I have to let them take steps on their own, regardless of how unwilling they might be at first.

And I drove home and started the rest of my day. I took the puppy on a morning walk. I've printed off some materials to review and work on for my freelance project. And I will keep myself busy until this afternoon, when it will be time to pick up all three of my boys from their school and hear about their first day.

Eventually, I will come to appreciate the fact that I am not driving 40 miles all over town like last school year and that I have a solid day to do the things I need to do without interruptions or distractions. Eventually, I will come home and revel in the peace and quiet. But today, I will stay busy. I will keep myself from driving back to school and checking on my boys. I will let them take this next step all on their own, confident we have planned and prepared them as well as we could, and that they will find their own way, just as they always have before.

Thankful

Today I am thankful. Thankful for all of the people who walk with us on our journey. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes it's long. And there are so many people who are there for us, day in and day out, at a moment's notice or weeks in advance, offering us a helping hand or even two.

Today was one of those days.

Today was the day we took all three boys to visit their new school and meet with their new teachers. The official open house was last week, while we were still out of town. And two of our boys needed a different kind of visit, one with fewer people and fewer distractions, at least on their first visit. The first day will, of course, be another story altogether.

But today was our visit, the day when most of the teachers and staff members who will be working with the boys would be there and available to meet with us. And, of course, today was Daddy's day to work. That left me and three boys. To visit countless classrooms, explore new and bigger corridors, and meet a whole new team of people.

Only it wasn't just me. Pappy volunteered to drive over for our early morning meeting to help. He walked with us, talked with teachers and therapists, helped answer questions and kept three little boys in line. No easy shoes to fill, those. But he does it well, and so much more often than he should.

There was also our surprise guest, the boys' speech therapist from early start. For three school years, she has been with them. And today she came over to help ease their transition to a new school, to a new place and so very many new faces. She held their hands, talked to teachers and answered questions, distracted them when the moments got too tough. She was an amazing familiar face on a difficult day, doing what she's done every single moment since she met our boys - helping them find their way.

And then there are the many, many new people we met today. The front office staff. The principal. The teachers and resource specialists. The speech therapist. All of them, taking time out of their busy last few days before school, to meet our boys, to ask questions about them and ask how they can help with this big transition. All of them friendly, eager and willing to help our boys on this next step of their journey.

We were at school for hours. Learning classrooms, putting faces with names, talking about challenges and planning strategies. And every where I looked, there was someone else to be thankful for. It was a good day. That's not to say there won't be challenges, or that the coming days will be easy. But standing there, seeing all those people surrounding our boys, I was thankful.

And our day was only half done. Tuesday is also speech therapy day. And with Daddy still at the fire station, that meant Mommy and three boys. And Grammy, who drove in to town to help with the afternoon session. Who waited with two impatient boys in the crowded waiting room while I took each of the boys back to their individual sessions. Who kept them quiet and entertained. Who took us out to dinner afterward. Who, as she so often is, was simply there.

Last week it was Grandma and Grandpa, treating the boys and I to a vacation at the beach. Getting up early with two very early risers. Watching all three boys so I could steal a few moments peace on walks along the beach or afternoons with a book on the sun deck. Extra hands to help in the pool or on the beach, to take pictures for us when my hands were too full of boys.

Aunt Kelly who always treats Connor to special days out without his brothers and all of the special needs that follow them. Who always brings the boys something they will enjoy, whether it's the latest animated movie or a tasty treat. Uncle Brian who takes time out to show Connor how to throw a baseball more accurately or how to catch a ball in his new glove.

All the teachers and therapists who have worked with our boys, who have loved our boys like their own. The ones who stay in touch, who celebrate our accomplishments and talk us through our setbacks. The ones who are, and will always be, part of not only our journey, but our family.

There are so many, many others.

The strangers who help hold open doors when I have all three boys by the hand. The ones who smile with compassion rather than annoyance when my boys do something out of the ordinary. The stranger who tries to help make things better on a bad day (like this one).

There are so many other things that I needed to do tonight. I was up early preparing for our visit and would have loved to crawl in bed hours ago. I have a freelance project I desperately need to be working on for an upcoming deadline. I have a huge stack of school forms for not one but three different little boys that is due on Thursday morning. I need to be making some last minute preparations to get three boys ready for a new school routine in two short days. There's the usual load of laundry that needs to be folded and put away, the dishwasher that always needs to be emptied, and other odd household chores to be done. There's a puppy that is craving my attention. And there's even one little boy who cannot seem to find sleep on his own, even after such an incredibly long and trying day, even when he is clearly very tired and in desperate need of sleep.

There are so many things that I should be doing ... but I had to capture this day, this moment. I have been alternately pretending that it was not coming at all and worrying that it would not go well when it did arrive. It is simply a way of saying thanks. Thanks to the people who have already been walking with us on this journey, who are always there when we need them, and to those who are joining us with such open arms and welcoming hearts.

Today I am thankful. Today was a good day.