Adventures with Daddy

Today Connor and Daddy are off on an adventure with Grammy and Pappy. They left bright and early this morning, traveling to a neighboring state for a pretty big air show. It's apparently hot, as Connor keeps complaining to them, but also fun. Note his fan and the remains of his icee. I'd say he's doing pretty well, considering.

Sharing Our Story

Guest blogging for some friends here today.

Attitude

Tired & Grumpy, a photo by here we wander on Flickr.

Please tell me what happened to my cute and cuddly little boy. Because all he's been lately is smart-mouthed, defiant, and down right mean.

I think part of it comes from summer. It's less structured for all of us, so he's starting to get a little restless. He's also been home for quite some time now, instead of off on his usual one-on-one adventures with grandparents where he is allowed to be spoiled and selfish.

It apparently also is just in his nature. He is the big brother, so I expect some teasing and taunting. That comes with the territory, right? But the last few weeks, he's just been mean. And he's been in trouble more than not.

Let's see ... his first major offense was locking his little brother in the closet. Yes, one morning I woke up to loud banging. When I got up to see what was going on, he was perched on his footstool right in front of his closet doors, sitting there holding them closed while one of his little brothers banged and screamed from inside. I cannot tell you what big brother would have done if I had locked him in there, in the dark, by himself. He would have screamed the house down if he were the one trapped.

There's also the mouth. His mother certainly knows a thing or two about sarcasm (I'm sure Grandma and Grandpa at the lake are chuckling as we speak). But the boy has taken to a whole new level. Shouting. Storming off with heavy feet. Slamming doors and knocking things over. Angry. Smart-mouthed. Not using the manners we KNOW that he knows - yes mam, no sir, please, thank you.

Sigh.

Now, let's talk about the many (many, many, many) time outs he has to have from the new back yard pool. This one is hardest to understand, because the boy absolutely loves the pool. How can he constantly keep doing things that get him taken out of it? The twins have not enjoyed it nearly as much since he came back home from his adventures. Getting constantly sprayed in the face with water will do that for you. And this kid of mine is awful. He looks - actually looks - to see if anyone is watching him. And if he thinks they are not, he purposefully goes over to one of his brothers and sprays them in the face with a water gun or using his hand to splash water right at them.

Clearly he has not learned that I can see through the windows in the house out to the pool, otherwise I would not be in the house at all while the boys are in the pool. The first few weeks I made them all potty at the same time, but I've learned to trust that they will not drown each other if I hurry one brother in to potty or if I step inside to grab juice or snacks for them to enjoy on the patio (both places are right next to windows over looking the pool area).

The boys gets three warnings - THREE - and still loses privileges. On the third warning he has to get out and get dressed because he is done for the day. The last time I caught him spraying his brother in the face, the very next day after being forced out early and also losing computer priviliges for the next two days, I took his water gun away from him and threw it in the trash can. He broke down in tears, but clearly the other methods are not having the appropriate affect.

Sometimes I want to bang my head against the wall. Sometimes I want to bang HIS head against the wall.

So if anyone sees that cute and cuddly boy, please send him back my way. I'm ready to trade back now.

Looking for Words

Double Trouble, a photo by here we wander on Flickr.

Tuesday is now speech therapy day. During the school year, every school day has some component of speech therapy that is provided through the school system, both in the traditional classroom and also in special education settings. But now, every Tuesday is also speech therapy day, as in the day we take the boys to a private speech therapist for additional services.

We have long debated adding additional speech therapy for the boys outside of what the school system provides. Part of it was trying to find that difficult balance between giving them the therapy and help that they need without making every moment of their life scheduled and monitored. It was also a question of finances and insurance, and this year we finally decided it was time.

This week marks the third week in the boys' new speech therapy routine. The first week was simply evaluations and observations - all those fun forms and questions to respond to - but the last two weeks have been actual sessions. They are short, only 30 minutes long, but held every single week.

The boys are quickly learning the routine. Sawyer already tries to leave the waiting room as soon as we check in. He's not a huge fan of the waiting part, though he usually does pretty well in the sessions. Xander is hit or miss. His first session, he was really cooperative and calm. Todays' session he was a bit feisty and combative. I'm sure they will both have their days.

The good news is we really like the boys' new therapist. She is young and energetic, and on the very first session recognized something very important about Sawyer and Xander. They are stubborn. They know much more than they will show you at any given moment. Xander was tossing out one and two word phrases when he clearly knows that we expect sentences from him at this point. He KNOWS this. But he wasn't going to give it to this new person who was making him work and play by her rules. And Sawyer also knows more than a single sign, but he's taken to trying to use "eat" as his "I want" and not offering anything else unless you make him.

Today's session was also a bit of a departure. We joined a session with an older child who also has autism, and he and his therapist showed Sawyer a little about his communication software (and other software as well) on his iPad. This was one of the main reason we got an iPad for Sawyer (and why we are considering one for Xander as well). It was interesting, watching the other little boy show him things and seeing Sawyer watch what he could make the screen do. It was also nice to see the software in use by someone who was familiar with it and used it on a daily basis.

The boys are definitely ready to leave when the session is over (and there is waiting, because they are scheduled back-to-back with the same therapist). But they at least come willingly out of the truck and into the office. They also usually come willingly into the back area for the session.

Just another twist and turn on our journey. The boys are getting used to adapting to new and different things, which is a huge step in and of itself. So Tuesday afternoons, you'll find us taking time out to look for a few words ...

Take Me Out to the Ball Park ...

... buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks ...

Yes, it's already time to start thinking about Fall baseball. Or, more accurately, Connor started thinking about it the minute he played his last Spring game of the season. We are now being forced to think about it because registration for Fall ball is here. The twins, if they knew about it, would be screaming in frustration. I promise.

But Fall ball is just around the corner again, and that means decision time. We've talked to Connor about maybe trying out soccer, but I don't think it's going to happen. The boy has baseball (and whatever his big cousin Austin does) on his mind, and that's pretty much all he can think or talk about. So it's looking like we're going back for more baseball.

What we are not doing, mind you, is returning to the same league.

All season long, I hinted at some serious league issues. But I wanted to attempt to be fair, to give the league a chance to redeem itself by the end of the season. That just didn't happen. If you know us, and want a heads up on the actual league NOT to join, let me know. For everyone else, I'll just offer up a few of the reasons that our next ball season will be somewhere else.

The original schedule that came out, or even the revised schedule that came out a few weeks after the original schedule, had maybe one or two things that were accurate. One or two. For the whole season. The dates, the times, the locations - all of it changed, all the time. You might get an email about a time or location change the night before the game, or you might get it the day of the game. You would also still continue to get the league-generated automatic email with the original time and location (which was of course incredibly incorrect). All on the same day. People were routinely showing up at the wrong location or the wrong time all season long, and really, who could blame them.

Some might think t-ball is an instructional league. Some would be sadly mistaken. Most of the other teams were returning kids who had played together last spring and last fall. All of the new kids were dumped on a few new teams with new coaches. The teams either won every game they played, or they lost every game they played. There were no mediocre teams. Many of the coaches also didn't bother to follow the rules. Some of the umpires weren't very observant. Kids were running two and three bases on overthrown balls, they kept running bases even after the ball was in the infield and held up, and generally tried to run the score up. Even when they were already winning by several runs. Coaches were also playing their best players on key positions, and leaving them there the whole game. So much for letting every kid get a feel for the game.

It's also hard to teach kids about the sport when they never played on a consistent field type. Almost every practice was held in a grassy field with an ancient backstop - no bases or baselines, mind you - but a grassy field. One of the actual games was played there, too. And there aren't any bleachers. There's a massive hillside going down to the grassy field. One week a game would be played on the little league field, the next it would be on an adult field - you know, with outfields more than 320 feet away. Sometimes there would be a dirt infield, sometimes a grass one. And sometimes, like I said, just a grassy field. And that cute little field right up the street from our house, where all of Connor's fall ball games and practices were played last season, well we didn't see it once. Not once. We were scheduled for it three or four times, but it never actually happened.

I'm pretty sure my patience with the league ended that day we played an actual game on that grassy (overgrown, even) field with no baselines and no bleachers. This was a real game, people. The poor kids could hardly see the baseball in the tall grass, and if it hit one of the huge divots in the field, it went flying who knows where. These are five- and six-year olds, and they might as well have been playing in someone's back yard.

Let's talk about the facilities a little more. The field we played at last year was right next to a city park. There were restrooms at the baseball field and at the park. There was also a concession stand with hot dogs and nachos and all that other all-American baseball food.

The brand-new little league field that we eventually played on - mid-way through the season, mind you - was also next to a city park. But there were no restrooms. They city brought a few port-a-potties up on the hill for each game. And the concession stand was a Pepsi trailer with nothing beyond packaged foods and can drinks. What kind of baseball field is that?

Now I will give the league a few points of consideration. Some of the changes in the schedule were absolutely due to the weather. We had a monsoon season here in our part of the world this Spring. But that doesn't give them license to move every t-ball game up to the ridiculous times of 4 o'clock in the afternoon - on a school and work day. Seriously? Every change also messed up a subsequent practice. We had some practices that were moved to 3:30 in the afternoon. Connor didn't even get home from school until almost 3 o'clock. And we often didn't know about the changes until the day before or the day of.

In the interest of full disclosure, I will also tell you that Connor's team was not that great. It was once of the new teams. Connor had played fall ball last year, but he was one of maybe three or four players who had ever played on a baseball team. More than half of the team had never picked up a baseball or bat or glove before the first practice. More than half. We had trouble even fielding enough players, especially during the early start times. We also didn't have a very good practice schedule, so the kids didn't learn a whole lot in between games.

So that was our Spring season. I still find it hard to believe we spent as much money as we did to put him in a league that is so clearly disorganized and unprepared for the number of kids trying to participate. Scheduling was a disaster, the new field wasn't ready until midway through the season and even then had limited facilities available (no restrooms for little league - are you serious?), and the teams were so disproportionate it wasn't even funny.

I will also say the Spring season was a total departure from our Fall experience. We LOVED Fall ball with this league last year - practice at the same time each week, games at the same time (though different days), optional clinics for more experience, and everything held at the same facility (which, by the way, had restrooms). No matter how wonderful that first experience was, it cannot make up for the disaster that was the Spring season.

If Connor really wants to play baseball, I want him in a league that knows what it's doing. We've been getting references from other parents in town, including Uncle Brian who coaches in another league we are considering. We may have to drive a little further from home, but that doesn't matter much. Because I will not waste our money or our time with this league again. Pretty much every parent on our team said the same thing, even parents with older kids who had played in the league previously, said this year was a total disaster. Clearly there was a little too much growth and the organizers were a little out of their league. The good news for them is that I imagine they will not have nearly as many coming back next year, so maybe their numbers will be more manageable.

We'll certainly be going elsewhere.