Photo Flashback

This is how Connor used to sleep a lot when he was really little - arms sticking straight up in the air. (December 08, 2004)

The Magic & Wonder

So even though Mommy may not have much Christmas spirit just yet, someone else in the family certainly has enough to go around. Connor couldn't be more excited about it this year if he tried.

Today was the big day . . . he got to go with Daddy to the tree farm down the road to pick out and cut down our Christmas tree!



Doesn't he look excited?



Standing in awe. He even helped with a few ornaments, though there were a few time outs for breaking (accidentally, of course) a few of them. Mommy even broke off part of one, which he was quick to point out.



The stockings are ready for presents, or so I hear.



So maybe we have a little Christmas spirit now. Christmas cards might even make it out next week.

The Good & The Bad

The holidays are here. Part of me loves them, and another part of me hates them. Strong words, I know, but completely true. The holidays tend to be busy, stressful and pretty chaotic. None of those things are good for small children, especially our particular children. Order and routine mean more in our household than most, and this time of year just turns it all upside down.

Take last night, for example. Connor was not having a particularly good night when it came to listening or to behaving appropriately. It was really frustrating, having to constantly remind him of what he was supposed to be doing. The list is long . . . not talking while others were talking, not playing while we were listening to the story, using our inside voice while playing at the library, saying "please" and "thank you," sharing with others, and answering people when they asked questions of him. He had a lot of transgressions last night, as you can see. The other three boys were models of good behavior. They each had their little moments of maybe talking out of turn or needing help sharing, but on the whole, they were well behaved. My son, not so much.

Part of me really wanted to just pick him up and take him home. It's what he needed. But another part of me didn't want him to miss out on the last Book Club meeting of the year, especially the holiday one. And I didn't want to miss it either. It's a fun group of moms and kids, and we only get together about once a month. It's one of the special things Connor and I do together, so it's important. But his behavior was awful last night.

We had a pretty quiet ride home. He kept trying to talk and joke at first, but I didn't respond. I was thinking. Simmering, actually, because I was still disappointed in his behavior and trying to figure out what was going on. He's usually better behaved, especially on our one-on-one adventures.

And that's when it hit me, driving home in total silence. The kid was chattering, or trying to until I gave him "the look," just as he always does when he's trying not to fall asleep. He was exhausted and fighting every minute of it.

It started Thursday on Thanksgiving, with our twelve-hour day that included nearly five hours of driving and trips to two different unfamiliar places with lots of strange (at least to the kids) people and food. The very next day we packed up and headed to the lake for an overnight visit that included another two-hour drive each way, not to mention non-stop running and playing with his cousins who were also down visiting. Sugary drinks and sweets fueled the early mornings and late nights. And again on Sunday we traveled, spending almost three hours in the car to drive up and back to visit an old college friend and her little boy who live in another city. That's a lot to pack into four days.

The "normal" school week hasn't fared much better. He went to school early Monday, still dragging from the weekend, only to be picked up and taken out for lunch and some Christmas shopping. A few hours of play time at home and then it was off to birthday dinner in a nearby city with Grammy, Pappy and Grandma JoAnn. Tuesday morning included a play date with his best buddy from preschool, and then today has been school followed by lunch with Mommy and Daddy (a rare treat).

No wonder he isn't behaving very well. There's the excitement of Christmas and Santa, which means more to him this year than any of the previous ones. And there's so much going and going that he's not getting much down time. And, truth be told, he's really not getting nearly enough sleep either, between early morning wake-up calls (Sawyer and school days) and late-night bedtimes (traveling, celebrations and get-togethers). He is exhausted.

So, while I was not at all satisfied with his behavior last night, I do see where part of it is coming from. It hit me as we were driving home in relative silence for a change. And it helped me calm down enough to talk to him in the car before we went inside last night. We talked about all ways his behavior had fallen short, and how going to do fun things was a privilege that you get for being a "good boy" who is polite and who behaves the way he is supposed to behave. There were lots of tearful "Yes, M'ams" and "No, M'ams." And there was even a big hug to remind him that even when you're disappointed in the behavior, you still love the big boy.

And now Mommy has to work on her part. I have to remember to balance the fun things with the down time that the boys really need, especially this busy time of year. And I also have to be willing to follow through. Next time we're out, and the behavior continues to be unacceptable, we make our apologies and we go home. Even if that means I have to give up something I want to be doing, too.

Book Club for Boys!

Tonight was our last Book Club for Boys meeting of the year, and it was a modified version. We met at a local library for story time and a tour by the librarian. The boys also got a chance to browse books, especially the pop-up ones on the tables, and to play with the assorted items in the children's area.

As an aside, Connor and I may have found a new library branch. Ours is close and convenient, but this one is much larger and has much more for him to do (on our Mommy & Me days out). Plus we'll be closer to different restaurants for lunch!

But, back to the Book Club. Each boy had been asked to bring two books, one wrapped for a book exchange with the other members and one unwrapped as a donation to the library. Our goal was to encourage reading with the boys and also to show them that sharing with others is a good thing to do during the holidays and throughout the year.

So, at the end of the tour, the boys gave the librarian the unwrapped books from their home collection, so that other children could enjoy it for a long time to come. And then we headed back to the house of the club organizer for the holiday party and the other part of our book exchange.

It was a fun night. The boys got to play and we got a chance to talk over some great food. Connor could have been a bit better behaved (more on that later), but all in all, it was a good night and a fun way to begin the holiday season!

A Day with Friends

Yesterday, Connor and I traveled to visit an old college friend and her little boy. The boys had a big time playing together, and the girls had a chance to visit and catch up.

After all of our traveling this weekend, Connor was even tired enough to fall asleep for more than half of the hour-and-a-half drive there. We arrived to find Zach still napping, so we headed downstairs where Connor played with some of his toys and Lavin and I got a chance to talk.

When Zach woke up, there was lots of playing with toys, inside and out, a little snacking, and even dinner out. We went to a little place called Jason's Deli, which was great. Then we came back for a little more playing and chatting before it was time for us to head back home.

Lots of traveling this weekend, but lots of good fun and lots of catching up with people we don't get to see as often as we'd like. What a good way to spend Thanksgiving!