The twins have a lot of those - things they like to do a certain way, things they don't like to do at all. And Sawyer and Xander are both very different in their likes and dislikes.
If Xander's in the mood for affection, he likes to kiss. A lot. If Sawyer's in an affectionate mood, he likes to squeeze, or hit (think love tap, only really, really hard).
One of my favorite routines is bed time. And it just goes to show you how different my identical twins really are from one another. Xander will accept a quick snuggle or kiss (even making the "Mmm .... ma" sound of a pretend kiss just to speed the process along. A cuddler he is not ...
But Sawyer is my cuddle buddy, especially at bed time. The poor kid is never really ready to go to bed, but one thing is for certain. If it's bed time, he wants Mommy there. We hop in bed, ready a book, and snuggle. I always read, sometimes he listens for minute, sometimes he pays attention to the flip of every single page, and sometimes he just dances around the room with that boundless energy and motion that is, quite simply, my boy.
But after the book is put back away, the lights go out and it's time for bed. We climb in together. He always lays in the same place - horizontally, on his belly and stretched on top of both his pillows, wedged up between the headboard and the mattress. Tight spaces, pressure - both things he loves and craves.
Sometimes he jabbers in that language we don't yet understand. Sometimes he giggles. Always he reaches out his little arm and hooks it around my neck, pulling me down hard and close to him. We stay that way for a while, snuggled close. Even if I have a million other things I need to be doing after bedtime, I always stay for a while.
You see, there was a time when Sawyer didn't like to be touched at all. When he would arch away, pull away and cringe at even the barest touch from other people. It never stopped me, of course. He learned to tolerate quick, hard hugs somewhere along the way. But now, now he reaches out and holds on tight.
If he's not at all sleepy, I "look" into his eyes. He doesn't like direct eye contact, of course, but he will let me "look" at him if I keep my eyes closed. He will actually giggle at me, and reach his hands up to hold onto my face, to hold me there just inches above his own. It's one of our moments together.
Yes, I stay for a while. We cuddle and laugh and hold on tight.
Routines and rituals can change, sometimes without the slightest hint or warning. I don't want to miss these moments ... not a single one. So much of his day is spent in his own world, doing what he wants just the way he wants, without wanting or needing help or interaction from anyone else.
But these moments, the ones where he's actually reaching out and holding on, those are priceless.
