Three little boys, three different ways of communicating.
One of them, the oldest, talks all the time. He talks as though its part of breathing. Unless, of course, you take him to school where he won't say a single word, at least not yet, not in his new classroom with his new teachers and new friends (only two familiar faces from his class last year).
One of them, the youngest (by all of three minutes), talks a little, mostly when he wants to. That, thankfully, has been happening a little bit more lately. The words are sometimes perfect and sometimes not, and the ones he uses most often are generally paired with the signs for emphasis. But, he's making an effort, sounding things out and being pretty consistent and appropriate most of the time. He has words, and he's adding more of them all the time.
And then there is the last one, the middle child (by all of three minutes), the "quirky and cool" one. There are still no words. There is vocalization, jabbering that starts the minute he wakes up (usually around 6:30 a.m.) from the moment he crashes into sleep (usually about 9 p.m.). Sometimes the sounds even seem to be like the words you're saying to him. You might even hear a random word or two in the mix (or at least you think you do), but never with any specific meaning or consistency.
Sawyer communicates solely through actions right now. He pushes and pulls you places and points you in the direction of whatever he thinks he wants. He grabs hold of your hand and wraps it in his and leads you where he wants to go. He picks up an item (his backpack, for instance) to let you know he's ready to go (to school, of course). He wraps his little arms around you and squeezes as hard as he can to give you a hug, or he pushes his cheek as hard as he can into your to give you a "kiss" on his terms. He pushes away things he doesn't want or doesn't like. He falls down on the floor if you tell him you're going somewhere he doesn't want to go.
He understands what you're saying and what you're asking of him, and he "tells" you in his own way whether or not he's going to comply. He is determined and persistent, and he is also consistent and generally appropriate in his actions. He simply doesn't use words.
When we started this journey last year, our speech therapist began introducing signs to both of the twins. Both of them picked them up pretty quickly, meaning that they understood what the signs meant and how to make them. It did not, of course, mean that they were willing to make them. It has been a struggle for both boys. Xander finally came around, learning that if he made the signs he could better get the things he wanted (it's all about motivation for him).
Sawyer has been slower. He knows the signs, recognizes them and even knows how to make them. He just doesn't do it very often on his own. He's much more likely to allow hand-over-hand signing, where someone else takes his hands and "helps" him to make the sign. He typically likes to take your hands and make the sign with your hands, which I'm told is quite common. He will, on occasion, spontaneously make an appropriate sign (usually "more," which was one of the first signs that the therapist worked with them on and that has long been a universal sign for both of the twins).
But, today, Sawyer had a moment at school that his teachers have not seen before. They were working on assigning the classroom jobs (one job for each student to help with that week), and Sawyer's name was the last one on the carpet (along with four other students who were absent). His teacher helped him, hand-over-hand, select his name and choose his job for the week, then signed "all done" to him and told him he could go play with the others. He apparently stood there, looking first at her and then back at those last four names. Then he signed "more," wanting to pick up another name and place it on the job board. He signed "more" for each name that was left until they were all assigned.
Sawyer has never independently signed at school, without either hand-over-hand assistance or using someone else's hands. He was independently signing, doing so appropriately and consistently until the activity was finished.
So there may not be words, at least not yet, but there are signs. And there is progress, moving a little bit further forward each and every day. And that's how we do things around here, taking things one step at a time, one day at a time. He'll get there, he'll just do it in his own time and very much in his own way.
