Last night I was busy working on three different client projects, two of them due today. Dad was nice enough to be doing the bath and bed routine so I could continue working.
Connor and Xander were content to come give me hugs at the desk before going on to bed.
Not Sawyer. Bed time is our time, and he's not easily persuaded to give it up. He comes running out of the bathroom, spins my office chair around and physically tries to pull me out of it onto my feet.
"Let's go, lady" is what his actions tell me. Sometimes he even says, "Go!"
Yes, I still had a lot of work to do. I'd been working all day and would work well into the night to finish. It's the nature of my job and the deadlines associated with it.
But I got up when he pulled. I let him lead me by the hand down the hall into his room. I saw his big grin and heard that sweet giggle. I watched him jump onto his pillows and wait for our routine to begin.
Sawyer lays on top of both pillows against the wall. He waits for me to add the doubled up sleeping bag on top of him (our inexpensive version of the weighted blanket). Then I climb on top. He loves pressure, especially at the end of the day. He pulls my hands under his head and holds onto them with his own. He expects us to stay this way. I usually roll over beside him at some point, worried that even though he likes the extra weight, it may be too much for him.
Some nights he shoves and tells me "bye," signaling it's time for me to go. Other nights, like last night, he reaches his arms out and holds on.
I love those nights.
Sawyer is the one who often prefers to be by himself. He likes his space. He's not big on prolonged hugs or touch. Not usually. But sometimes, like last night, he just reaches out and holds on.
In those moments, I will always stay. Even if I have more work to do, even if it means a longer night for me. Because when he does reach out, when he does hold on, it's one of those moments you just can't pass up. There is nothing else more important, and no where else I'd rather be, than right there inside his tightly held embrace.
My sweet boy, who works so hard and goes through so much every single day. Yes, I'm going to stay.